We’ve all witnessed those arguments that seem to drag on and on. Even after the initial conflict is resolved, it keeps rearing its ugly head long after the moment has passed
CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared in All Business
It generally starts the same way – with one party feeling slighted or betrayed by another.
This is circular conflict, a loop where the same issue resurfaces again and again without resolution. Emotions escalate, communication breaks down, and both sides are often left feeling frustrated, unheard or on edge. In a workplace setting, this kind of cycle can quickly become disruptive and breakdown previously healthy relationships.
Recognising the Signs
Circular conflict tends to follow familiar behaviours, even if the topic changes. Conversations drift off course as people introduce new points or bring in excessive “evidence” to strengthen their position. Group dynamics are eroded as people can feel forced to take sides. Issues are rarely closed off properly, leaving space for them to resurface later. As tensions rise, physical responses can kick in – a racing heart, tightness in the chest or a general sense of stress. It’s also common for past grievances to be pulled into the present discussion, alongside more personal or absolute language that shifts the focus from the issue to the individual.
Why It Happens in the Workplace
Work environments can naturally heighten sensitivity. In some teams, certain voices dominate while others hold back, either out of caution or fear of being challenged. When people feel exposed or under pressure, conversations can quickly become less about solving a problem and more about protecting themselves.
A lack of structure can make this worse, particularly in high stakes situations. Without a clear agenda or defined outcome, discussions can drift, and the focus shifts from resolution to self-preservation. Instead of working towards a shared goal, individuals may become more concerned with avoiding blame or defending their position.
Trust also plays a significant role. In environments where people feel undermined or criticised, even subtly, the stakes of a conversation can feel much higher. Individuals may begin to anticipate conflict, scanning for signs of disagreement or attack. This anticipation alone can drive more defensive or reactive behaviour, reinforcing the cycle.
When interactions are more often critical than constructive, people become less generous in how they interpret each other. Neutral comments can be perceived as negative, and patience begins to wear thin. This shift in mindset makes it easier for conflict to escalate and harder for it to resolve.
The Problem with Moving Targets
Another common contributor is a lack of consistency in expectations or direction. When priorities shift frequently or decisions feel unclear, conversations lose their grounding. Agreements become vague, accountability weakens, and discussions start to feel unstable.
This creates a kind of “moving target” effect, where no resolution feels final. Instead, conversations circle back on themselves, reopening the same debates and frustrations. Without clarity, it becomes difficult to move forward, and the cycle continues.
Breaking the Pattern
Interrupting circular conflict requires a deliberate shift in approach. When a conversation begins to escalate, stepping back can be more productive than pushing forward. Taking a moment to pause, regulate your response or reset the tone can prevent further escalation. Simple grounding techniques can help bring focus back to the present, reducing the intensity of the moment. Equally important is bringing the conversation back to its purpose.
Moving Towards Better Conversations
At its core, circular conflict is rarely about the issue being discussed. It’s more often a reflection of unclear expectations, low trust or communication breakdowns. Breaking the cycle doesn’t require dramatic change, but it does require awareness. Once recognised, it becomes far easier to shift conversations from reactive and repetitive to focused and productive.


Be the first to comment