A guide to challenging perfectionist behaviour

No lesson plan, student, teacher or school leader can ever be perfect – so why do we constantly strive for perfection? Here’s how to silence your inner critic and challenge your perfectionist behaviour

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on Education Support

It’s okay to have high standards in the workplace, as caring about your work can truly be an asset to your school. But better understanding of perfectionist behaviour and letting go of rigid, all-or-nothing thinking can help you preserve your energy, while still being there for your pupils and colleagues.

We know that teaching staff are under frequent amounts of pressure – observations, Ofsted, parents evening. The list goes on! But there are many reasons why striving for perfection might be so prevalent in education. 

For one thing, educators care deeply about their pupils and the purpose of their work. This is one of the things that makes teaching such a rewarding career, but this same sense of purpose could make it tricky to accept human errors and promote a culture of constantly striving – no matter the cost.

Black and white thinking  

As a perfectionist, black and white thinking can be a common occurrence as we strive to achieve the impossible state of perfect.

It can be liberating to find life’s shades of grey and accept that things are often complicated.

Letting go of rigid, all-or-nothing thinking is one strategy you can use to stop yourself trying to fit into unattainable categories.

For teachers and education staff 

 Black and white

• If my pupils don’t get perfect grades I have failed them as their teacher
• If I don’t have perfect lesson plans I’ll let down my department
• My head of department is under a lot of pressure, I don’t want to say no to this project as I will add to their stress

Shades of grey

• I have done the best I can for my pupils. My influence is only part of the story. Their achievements are not solely a reflection of me.
• My lesson plans are good enough and that will do for now
• I see that by head of department is stressed, but I still need to say no on this occasion in order to protect myself. It does not mean I am not hard-working or that I am slacking.  I am a better colleague to her if I avoid saying yes and letting her down later

For school leaders

Black and white

• As a school leader I am expected to deliver excellence in leadership and school management at all times
• There is so much to do, I need to fit as much into my school day as possible
• If I don’t handle everything perfectly and on time (HR procedures, appraisals, budgeting) I am a failure
• I am responsible for the happiness of my staff – if they are unhappy at work it is my fault

Shades of grey

• It is not realistic for any one person to deliver excellence at all times – I do not need to be super-human every day
• There is lots to do, but I also need to allow myself time for breaks and rest throughout the day – it will stop me burning out and I will be better at my job in the long run
• I am not expected to know and do everything – I am part of a team and it is okay to ask for help
• I can promote a good work climate and good teamwork, but I am not solely responsible for my staff’s happiness

Silencing your inner critic

Another way to challenge perfectionist behaviour can be to work on silencing your inner critic. By ‘inner critic’ we mean the inner speech many of us experience as we go about our daily lives. 

Challenging your inner critic and trying to reframe what it says can help retrain your brain to be more positive and realistic in its outlook. 

For example, if your inner critic says ‘I didn’t let my students stay for extra study time after school. I have let them down.’ Ask yourself ‘Is that true?’ and reframe the thought: ‘I need time to recover after a full day’s work and it’s important for students learning that they revise away from the classroom environment’.

It can take time to adjust your inner critic, but with practice it can help you become more confident and less prone to burning yourself out by taking on too much on, or over doing it.