How is your resolve when it comes to resolutions? Andrew Blench explores the often-disheartening tradition of New Year’s resolutions, offering practical tips to turn aspirations into achievable goals
New Year Resolutions – Bah Humbug!
May be that’s your reaction to the thought of setting some New Year Resolutions! Hardly surprising when you know that most people don’t keep them. A ComRes Poll in November 2015 indicated that at least 63% of respondents had not kept their New Year Resolution.
Yet despite this statistic many people will be using the opportunity of a New Year to review their lives and make promises to themselves (or others) to be different in 2025.
Many will be setting goals to lose weight, stop smoking or stop being a ‘couch potato’. These can be described as ‘move away from’ goals. Others will be making resolutions to get that promotion at work, find their perfect partner and purchase their dream home. All ‘move towards’ goals.
It all sounds good doesn’t it!? So how can I turn a wish or dream into a reality? What will stop me being part of the 63%?
Set Realistic Goals
As human beings we function best when we have the appropriate level of challenge or stretch for us. Too much challenge and stretch over an extended period and we can ‘crash and burn’.
So, make those goals ambitious but not overwhelming. Sometimes this comes down to how we describe the goal to others and ourselves. To say that we are going to lose 2lbs per week over the next four months seems less daunting than saying you will lose two stone in weight. By breaking the goal down into smaller parts, we start to see the goal as possible. As someone once said, ‘the best way to eat an elephant is in small bite sized chunks!’ P.S. I am not suggesting that you are an elephant or that you should eat them!!
Make These Your Goals
It’s easy to fall into the trap of attempting to live to the expectations others have for you or what you perceive ‘they’ want from you or for you! That’s a demanding way to live and not very authentic or rewarding! A real give away in this is the language we use to describe our goals. If we use phrases such as ‘I know I ought to stop smoking…’ and ‘I really should lose weight…’ rather than ‘I would love to do this…’ or’ I want to achieve this…’ perhaps our motivation is guilt or the expectations of others.
Focus on the Benefits
As a society we are obsessed with measuring everything! But what about the outcomes? So, you answered my call within 20 seconds, but did I get the service I needed afterwards? What was the outcome? So, I have reduced the number of cigarettes I smoke from 30 a day to 5 a day, what’s the benefit? I smell better, I have more energy to play football with my grandson! Measure the benefits and celebrate them when they arrive!
Get Yourself a Cheerleader
Someone who you trust to share your goals with. A person who will hold you to account when you feel like packing in. Someone who believes in you and will shout out ‘come on you can do it; I believe in you!’ Also, a person who is there to celebrate your achievements with you and who won’t judge you along the way.
This is why groups like Slimming World and AA are successful as they have those elements present.
As an SBL community we are very supportive of each other and can be each other’s cheerleaders. But I also wonder if the fact that we know the work that we do is a disadvantage. Sometimes we need someone to come on the journey with us who isn’t constrained by the limitations we might see in our circumstances and can give us a different or new perspective.
This is also the role of a Professional Coach who will support you on your journey of change.
There is a lot more that could be said about New Year’s Resolutions, and I hope that these words have given you some tips.
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