A big fat F

Laura Williams, L J Business Consultancy, on why even if you fail at first you shouldn’t give in

My last blog was jam-packed with talk of perfectionism, fear of failure, the unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves and how we define success.

I said that if something doesn’t go according to plan, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t good enough. And it doesn’t mean that we get an automatic ‘F’.

If you’ve been following me on social media then you’ll know that recently I started recording the first episodes of my podcast, The Business of Education.

You can see what’s coming right?

Yes, I actually did get an ‘F’. A big fat ‘F’!

Let me set the scene.

I knew that I needed to use a different type of software to record a podcast and that there were several options out there to choose from.

• I conducted research.
• I reviewed a longlist.
• I tech-tested a shortlist.
• I considered value for money, quality, robustness, and user-friendliness for my guests.
• I selected my software.
• I tech-tested my selection again.
• I double-checked my selection methodology.
• I tech-tested my selection again. And again.

I was happy. It was everything I needed, and I was ready to go!

Then on the day of the very first recording, the software company rolled out a full, non-opt out, bells-and-whistles update.

What are the odds?! How had I missed that?

And what the F was I going to do?

• I didn’t find out until 30 minutes before going ‘live’.
• I had time to do a tech-test which appeared to be satisfactory, but it wasn’t as half as thorough as I would have liked.
• I was not happy.
• I was nervous. I had been nervous about the recording itself (oh my god, scary stuff!) but with wobbly tech, I was a wreck.

You know yourself, if the tech doesn’t work then you are up that creek, my friend.

My guest logged on – we spent some time preparing and when we hit record… there we went, floating off up that creek – ‘paddleless’.

We tried, we tried a lot – and my guest was so patient, kind and understanding. But after almost one mortifying hour later, we conceded defeat.

She logged off and as I sat there with my head in my hands…

The voice started.

• What were you thinking trying to do a podcast?
• Your guest thinks you’re a right idiot.
• If it doesn’t work a second time, you’re going to look like even more of an idiot.
• You should just give up now and write it off as a bad idea.

And I started answering back….

• Yeah, what do I know about recording a podcast anyway?
• I don’t want people to think I’m an idiot.
• I’m scared to try again.
• I can’t see a way through this.
• Maybe you’re right… I’m sure I could come up with a reason to not do it.

Then.

I gave myself a mental slap.

When I announced that I was going to launch a podcast, so many people messaged me to thank me not only for launching a podcast but for modelling 10% braver.

After all, if I spout it, I should live it, right?

But 10% braver doesn’t just mean ‘for a day’ or for the ‘next step’. It means for every step. It means for every day.

It means asking yourself how can I be 10% braver in this moment, how can I be 10% braver today, how can I show up 10% braver tomorrow?

Well, at this point, ‘tomorrow’ included another guest for a scheduled recording at 11:30am!

I was against the wall and I was not feeling brave at all. In fact, I was feeling decidedly ‘un-brave’.

So…

I shut my laptop, I went back to my desk and I started at the beginning.

• I opened my research file.
• I went back over my notes.
• I did more research.
• I selected new software.
• I tech-tested it to death and I double-checked for last minute update announcements.
• I changed my own recording setup – just in case that had contributed to the issue.
• I showed up to record at 11:30am the following day.

And it worked! 

I was honest with guest number two about the issues I’d experienced – managing expectations – and she too was lovely, supportive, and super-optimistic even when I wasn’t. We had such a fun time recording and I felt so relieved that I emailed guest number one immediately afterwards!

Luckily, she was able to record the next day and I’m pleased to report, it went without a hitch (apart from us dissolving into giggles a lot!) And she assures me that she didn’t think I was an idiot!

Since then, I’ve recorded lots more episodes with more in the diary and that gob full of self-doubt in my head has been well and truly zipped up. At least, for now.

So why did I give myself a big, fat ‘F’?

I gave myself a big, fat ‘F’ because I should have had a contingency plan. I should have remembered SBL 101; that when you’re dealing with things you can’t control, always have a back-up plan. I didn’t do that. I didn’t account for external variables.

I couldn’t have predicted the upgrade or the issues it would cause me – the probability was low, therefore the risk minimal.

But because it was so important (to me at least!) I should have considered things like: what if the software doesn’t work for my guest, what if it crashes etc. Even a minimal risk was unacceptable to me and I overlooked it at my peril.

And what can be learnt from this whole random story?

• Even when you think you’ve got everything covered, things get overlooked and things can go wrong.
• You can plan and plan and plan but at the end of the day, we’re human and sh** sometimes happens.
• A lot of this type of rubbish isn’t world-ending. It’s annoying, inconvenient, and potentially embarrassing but there’s very little that is actually unfixable.
• Not everything is our fault. But even when it isn’t, we can learn from it.
• Being up front about what’s going on is so much better than pretending everything is ok – nobody wants you to fail. In fact, they really want to help you!
• Sometimes, the only option is to go back to the beginning and start again. And that’s fine.
• Being 10% braver is a mindset, a lifestyle choice even (!) and on some days, it’s downright uncomfortable, scary, and mortifying but when all is said and done, it’s so worth it.
• Getting an ‘F’ now and again isn’t the end of the world. Sure, it doesn’t feel nice, but we can’t live in fear of it – and besides, it helps us appreciate the A’s!

And in truth, when this podcast launches, nobody is going to be thinking about that one time the software didn’t work… (ok, I might be but nobody else!).

And the same is true for you – people aren’t thinking about your F’s either.

As SBLs, our mindset is to expect straight A’s, but the reality is that things aren’t in our control enough for that to be the case!

Plan for the best, prepare for the worst and know that when it’s all done, all anyone else will see is a great overall outcome.  You got this!