It’s all too easy to become stuck in the circle of stress, problems spinning around and around in your head. Laura Williams wants you to take back control, with some simple steps you can take to break the cycle
Recently, I ran a free SBL Stress Management Session and for one whole hour, me and 45 other SBLs talked about what stress is, how it affects us and as SBLs, what we can do to not only reduce stress but to find ways to rest, replenish and recover.
Following the session, I received some really lovely feedback but I’m conscious that even though it was super practical, there’s only so much we can cover in an hour, and I wanted to share something additional that may help (and if you wanted to join us but weren’t able to, this may help you too!)
When we have a problem, our first instinct is to find the quickest solution that we can use to make the problem go away.
For some problems, the solution is obvious. It’s easy to implement and it works just fine.
With stress and wellbeing, while there are quick fixes, it may well be that we need to do a bit more digging and diagnostic work to find a solution that works for us in the long term.
Some problems are more complex and don’t go away no matter what you throw at them. You know the ones, the ones that make you feel like you’re walking into a cr*p storm every time you set foot in your building? Yep, those ones are trickier.
If you’re feeling stressed about an issue that you genuinely can’t see a way round, through or over then you need to spend some more time working the problem before you can solve it.
By taking some time out to really gather your thoughts and reflect on what’s happening, you’ll get so much clearer on the type of action that you need to take. So, grab a pen and a brew and work through the below. Don’t worry about what comes out; just get it on the page!
How did you get here?
Where is here? Where was there? When did the problem start? What is the chain of events that led you to this point? Is there anything you wish you had done differently? What impact is it having on both you and your organisation?
What do you think is the root cause of the problem?
This could be one thing or multiple things but more often than not, these are the issues that I come across as a coach: a lack of communication, a breakdown of a working relationship, a change of leadership, a change in you and what you want from your organisation, a difficult stakeholder, a structure that doesn’t support what you’re trying to achieve, inefficient ways of working, a conflict of priority or a difference of opinion.
Currently, do you have the authority, knowledge and skillset to resolve this problem?
If you do, ask yourself what that might look like. If you could wave a magic wand tomorrow and make this problem go away, what would your world look like then? What would change? How would it be better?
If you’re sat thinking that the problem you have is completely out of your control and you don’t have the power to resolve it, ask yourself – how can I mitigate the impact? What changes can I make to how I work? Do I need to look to other colleagues to help me resolve this?
Is this bearable/unbearable? Fixable or unfixable?
With the above in mind, to meet the challenges you have head on, make a list of any areas that you feel that you need to develop and the skills and knowledge that you already have that you can exploit.
Now, set yourself some objectives.
With the end goal in mind, write down the actions that you need to take to move forward.
This could be any one or more of the following: arranging a meeting, reviewing your job description, speaking to a colleague, studying for a qualification, undertaking bespoke training, finding a mentor, working with a coach, asking advice from your network…or it might even be applying for another job!
And finally, set yourself some deadlines.
If it’s not in the diary it doesn’t get done, right? Write down specifics and break the task down into smaller pieces; what will you do, by when and what will success look like. What will you achieve by acting?
Now look at what you’ve written.
No more analysis paralysis! You should now have a focused plan with clear objectives, clear actions and measures of success – or at least something that could be shaped into one!
One final thought from me…
Whatever it is that is stressing you out right now, think about the advice that you would give to someone else. You would tell them to not be too hard on themselves, to take some time out to properly think things through and to be courageous and ask for what they need.
That’s my message to you today. Be kind to yourself. Take some time.
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