Are you avoiding conflict in the workplace?

Conflict can be uncomfortable, so it is no surprise we avoid it in the workplace

CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on Thoughtful Leader

Avoiding conflict is a common problem in our workplaces; conflict can be scary and unpleasant. While avoiding conflict can make us feel safe temporarily, it can also create an unsafe environment in the long run. Avoiding conflict can cause all sorts of problems, including:

• Dysfunctional behaviour going unchecked, until it becomes a normal part of the organisation’s culture.
• Ongoing poor performance which is never addressed.
• Reputational damage for leaders who fail to tackle problems.
• Overload, burnout and mental health challenges due to hesitation in pushing back on overwhelming workloads.

Sometimes avoiding conflict seems like a great option; we can avoid feeling uncomfortable and needing to deal with strong emotions. However, while avoiding conflict may instinctively feel good in the short-term, the long-term outlook has much more distressing consequences. Here are some of the potential risks of a conflict-avoidant approach.

Delaying the inevitable

The problem with avoiding conflict is that it usually solves very little; there are few genuine problems that disappear by themselves, with no action taken – that problematic team member, the frustrated colleague or disgruntled boss aren’t going anywhere. Issues can fester, causing greater discontent over time and a potential for greater conflict in the future.

Letting others set our direction 

When we avoid conflict we tend to compromise our own goals and aspirations in favour of avoiding those feelings of confrontation or strong emotions. The feelings of resistance, and the source of our fear, are what start to drive our actions and set our direction. In this situation, it’s impossible to really get to where we need to go because we’re bouncing along the path that others are setting for us.

By avoiding conflict, we set a precedent for the future

When we fail to tackle conflict and, instead, run the other way, we set a precedent for the future. This can happen in several ways; firstly, the person you’re afraid of can see that you avoid conflict and may use this to get their own way in the future.

Secondly, you become accustomed to avoiding conflict and when avoiding conflict becomes your standard way of operating, it’s difficult to change. You will struggle to improve in conflict situations because you aren’t exposed to them enough to get better at dealing with them.