Frustration, frustration, frustration

Laura Williams, of L J Business Consultancy Ltd, on why, sometimes, getting mad is okay

Recently, I watched an old episode of The Big Bang Theory – the one where Sheldon is in denial that he has a pathological need for closure.

His girlfriend Amy tests this theory by taking him through a series of exercises including starting a sentence and not finishing it, stopping a game before anyone can win and not letting him blow out all of the candles on a birthday cake.

All of these things make Sheldon so mad that he tells her he wants to pull his face off and shred it!

This got me to thinking about what makes me mad…

• Drivers who cut me up and then have the cheek to thank me – seriously?!
• Self-service checkouts – no, it’s not an unexpected item – I put it there!
• Someone telling me to ‘calm down’ when I’m actually perfectly calm – well, I was!

Now, I know that this stuff is totally unimportant in the grand scheme of things – especially with everything that is going in the world and in our profession. There are many other things much worthier of my wrath like:

• The lack of appropriate recognition and support for support staff in schools – which has become even more apparent over the last twelve months.
• The inequity of SBL salaries – it’s not rocket science; pay us what we are worth because we ARE worth it! 
• The idea that, without a teaching qualification, the contribution of SBLs is seen as less credible. I have the utmost respect for the teaching profession (I certainly couldn’t do it!) but an in-depth knowledge of pedagogy doesn’t help when it comes to renovating toilets, setting and managing a budget and negotiating a photocopier contract with Bob the sales guy (no idea who Bob is but it sounded better with a name!) We are experts in what we do!

(NB: I know these things don’t apply to every school or school leader – many are fabulous – but there’s still too much of it about!)

Many of you have been feeling the rage a little – okay, a lot – more than usual recently with the mention of Edenr** causing much chaos and cussing – as well as the whole testing debacle. It’s all adding to the ‘normal’ level of rage that we’ve grown disturbingly accustomed to during the pandemic. 

So, my message to you is not to calm down (though it would be ironic) but to try and find balance.

You are entitled to be mad, to rage, to challenge; these are perfectly rational responses – but you are also entitled to stop, to rest, to enjoy time with your family, to be the person you normally are when you’re not running around at a million miles an hour, navigating crazy politics and trying desperately hard to keep your cool.

In the midst of all this craziness try and find half an hour each day to do something just for you – something that makes you smile, laugh or just forget about the endless stress that has become normal life.

And if that doesn’t work… it’s time to ‘phone a friend or a colleague. We’re all in this together, and being able to talk things through, and normalise what we are feeling, is so much better for our wellbeing than trying to bottle it up.

Reach out, keep smiling and remember – you are not alone.