Many people working in education are uncomfortable saying ‘no’ – here’s a guide on setting boundaries in the workplace and managing expectations
CREDIT: This is an edited version of an article that originally appeared on Education Support
Setting realistic expectations has benefits for everyone. The person making the request holds no false expectations. You maintain your professional integrity and avoid unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Who wants to be the person who over-promises and under-delivers?
Although saying ‘no’ is hard, it’s not impossible or necessarily unreasonable. Remember:
Everyone needs between seven and eight hours of sleep each night – make this a non-negotiable
The average teacher is physically present at the school for around eight to nine hours daily, then spends several more hours at home planning and marking. You cannot do it all
You don’t need to agree to anything that sits outside of your usual responsibilities or that will cause you unreasonable stress or physical effort
Saying no to one thing may allow you to say yes to something else. Are you taking on responsibilities that align with your own priorities?
Know your priorities
A great way to do this is to write a to-do list and rank tasks by importance.
‘I will literally be fired if I don’t get this done’ is the most important category. Work down from there, to the least important item.
Review it regularly and be aware of how much wiggle room you have for new tasks. You are human, not a robot, and there are some items that might not get done.
Also consider the longer-term picture. Work and life demands fluctuate. Be aware of which takes priority for you, right now. There may be periods when work take priority over home or social life but know that it can’t always be like that.
Be firm but friendly
When someone comes to you with an impossible request:
Don’t be dismissive – really listen to the person’s request and give it due consideration
Show that you understand them but paraphrasing their request back to them
Maintain open body language and eye contact. Smile if you can!
Set your boundaries but don’t over explain
Remember that it’s likely this person is stressed out too: be kind
Phrases to use when you really mean no
‘Thank you for considering me for this. Let me check my diary before I commit.’
‘I can’t realistically commit to this without letting go of some other tasks. Let me discuss with my line manager.’
‘That time frame won’t be possible for me due to other commitments.’
‘My plate is full at the moment, but thank you for thinking of me.’
‘I’m going to take time to fully consider this. I will respond to you when I have an update.’
‘I have some concerns. Can we find some time to talk this through?’
‘Has anyone else been considered for this?’
Be your own cheerleader
Remind yourself of your value and expertise. People likely ask you to take on tasks because you’re good at what you do!
Remind yourself of this next time you feel undervalued by a request.
It gets easier the more you do it
It takes time to get confident saying ‘no’.
Can you role-play with a friend or family member? Can you talk it through with a trusted colleague outside of work? You can also try it on yourself in the mirror (we’ve all been there!)
Practice saying ‘no’ in a respectful but assertive way. It’s an act of self-care.
Remind yourself
Your colleagues and administrators have their own lives and their own issues, and are not likely as focused on you as you think
Familiarise yourself with the processes at your institution – what things can you be more flexible on and what other things need to be answered immediately? The procedures may inform what you say no to
Remember the big picture. Schools in the UK are under significant pressure to prove themselves and to show improvement. Try not to take it personally. The schools are looking at all facets of the system in order to improve, not a specific teacher or department
For non-teaching staff (e.g. administrators), it could be helpful to ask what teachers’ specific needs are, and see if they can be addressed on a smaller scale/part-time basis
We hope this helps you feel more comfortable saying no. It’s an important tool for self-care in the workplace and a skill everyone should have under their belt, even if it means leaning into uncomfortable conversations.
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