Why you should practice the pause

Laura Williams, school leadership coach, trainer and SBL podcast host, on the importance of the pause…

I’ve got three words for you.

Practice the pause

I first saw this quote on Instagram and then, not long after, I saw it on my Twitter feed along with its close cousin, ‘The power of pause’.

It’s like the universe knew that I needed to hear it – or I did that thing where once you become aware of something, you see it everywhere! Either way, in that moment, the quote hit me round the head – hard.
 
I talk a lot about getting back in ‘the zone’; about those times when you’ve found yourself spinning out and how, sometimes, you have to accept that things just are what they are.
 Whilst it’s easy to set off with the best of intentions of getting back into the zone, accepting what is and, generally, letting the tidal waves of stress wash over us without missing a step… well, that’s easier said than done. SBLs may be superheroes, but even heroes have their challenges.
 
So instead, before we set off anywhere, maybe we need to pause. 

To truly practice it, and embrace the power of it.
 
The full quote I saw on Instagram is by Lori Deschene:
 
“Pause before judging.
Pause before assuming.
Pause before accusing.
Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly and you’ll avoid doing something you’ll later regret.”
 
I would like to add three other pauses, and these may resonate with you too.  
 
Pause before responding and over-reacting

Unless there’s a tangible, clear reason (eg safety) – nothing and nobody should require an immediate response. 99% of the time we can say, ‘I’ll think about that and get back to you’ and the world isn’t going to end. Really. (Hello, governors!) Also, when big things are going on around us, we can feel overwhelmed by emotion which means our logical brains may get tangled up, and our ability to think rationally is squished. 

If we feel ourselves about to over-react, we should pause and question why the situation has created these emotions within us and try and understand what they mean before we respond.

Pause before over-thinking 

I’m a Virgo, a perfectionist and an Olympic-level worrier. If something is going to go wrong – today, tomorrow or in a year’s time – I’ll have 99% for sure factored that into my thinking. I’m a walking risk assessment matrix. Of course, some of the risks I assess have as much likelihood of coming to pass as winning a lottery jackpot or bumping into Tom Hardy in Tesco. 

Sometimes, because SBLs are what we are, our minds get busy and fill up quickly with random, unlikely, scenarios that need rinsing out of our brains before they affect our ability to make sound and balanced decisions. I say this from a place of deep understanding (and regular fails) in this area!
 
Pause so you can figure out how you truly feel 

When something big happens our thoughts can immediately turn to what our head, SLT, colleagues, family and/or friends will think – and it’s hard to switch tracks when we set off down that road. Sometimes, we need to pause to check in with our own thoughts, assumptions and gut instinct rather than be guided or swayed by somebody else – then you’ll know for sure if what you’re feeling is what you’re feeling or whether you’ve lost some perspective somewhere along the line. 
 
So, practice the pause as you move into this new academic year and remember, you’ve absolutely got this.